Honesty Is The Best Policy

We've all heard the saying "honesty is the best policy" which is true indeed, but honesty is crucial in building and having a successful marriage. If a spouse does not provide honesty and open communication, trust can be undermined and feelings of security can be destroyed. Men (husbands) and women (wives) both need to be and feel secure in the marriage union.

When trust is lost in a marriage you lose the foundation on which to build a solid relationship. Instead of growing together, you grow apart. Marriage needs to be a place of security, comfort and vulnerability. When you said your vows, you committed your whole self to your spouse. Honesty is a choice and an action that leads to experiencing love and loving others with your true self. If we fail to be real and transparent in our marriage, the relationship will suffer. Outside circumstances I'm sure have come (because no one and no marriage is immune from circumstances out of their control) and will come that threaten your marriage. Life happens! While outside forces are not in our control, choosing honesty so that there is open communication and transparency in our marriage is within our control. How can you be a team if you both are not on the same page? How can you strategize your next move if all the cards aren't on the table? In order to be a strong unit it's necessary to be real and open with one another. In order to avoid hurting your spouse or losing their trust we need to choose to be honest (even when it may make your spouse uneasy). Seek the Lord if you have to share something with your spouse that may be difficult to hear, it's better to tell the truth and be honest instead of run the risk of losing their trust. The Bible reminds us that "a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) as well as "with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." (Ephesians 4:2-3) Being honest and transparent with your spouse, and having open communication will allow you to have a firm foundation to build your marriage on and embrace each other and face life as one. These also serve as tools for love and weapons for shame and/or guilt. Your spouse cannot truly know you if you fail to be a transparent person. When we choose dishonesty (or deceitfulness) we are actually robbing our spouse of the opportunity to love us completely. Honesty encourages growth. Transparency builds a strong foundation in marriage, creating trust. Honesty says "we are on the same team." Transparency says "I want to know you more and I want you to know me more. It's important not to leave our spouse with false impressions about our thoughts, feelings, habits, likes, dislikes, personal history, daily activities, or plans for the future. Transparency is pertinent to a healthy and long-lasting marriage. Vulnerability and honesty will create a new space for you and your spouse to be unified, standing together as one, ready to face whatever life may hold.